Woman dancing

Why Isn't There A Naked Woman Dancing Channel?

Or at least a Half Naked Women Dancing TV Channel?

Here's Playboy Playmate Sandy Greenburg, a very good dancer (thought it doesn't show in this vidcap, she has a VERY sinuous way of moving her hips) dancing in a Playboy Playmate Music Video. I think there should be a channel full of stuff like this, nonstop. Don't you?

I don't really spend that much time just watching TV, and I don't know that many people that do. Most guys I know, and most women for that matter, spend more of their time surfing the Web than watching TV. TV is nowadays a background medium for Web surfing. I don't have that much time or interest just to sit down and watch most programs.

Here's Playboy Playmate Rebecca Armstrong dancing while wearing a thong and bra in another Playboy Playmate Music Video. I could handle a channel full of THIS stuff, too. And by THIS stuff, I mean a channel full of hotties dancing in skimpy thongs and bras. More on this later.

And most dramatic or comedy programs, and even a lot of reality TV programs have a plot progression so you really have to watch from the beginning to get the full impact of what's going on, and frankly taking the time to do that is rarely rewarding.

Here's a scene from "Chupacabra: Terror at Sea." Sure it looks good NOW, -- I mean, what a RACK on that damsel! -- and it'll look good for the next five minutes or so. But there's two hours of incredibly dull movie wrapped around this image. Who wants to bother, especially when you're doing something other than watching TV? (Which you'd BETTER be, otherwise, you're in for some major boredom.)

What's really needed in this age of Web surfing is a channel where you can drop in anytime and see something that's at least mildly entertaining without having to invest any time or mental energy to catch up on what's happening.

OK, for the record, this woman is not legally naked. She is wearing an actual thong bikini. See those two thin lines leading down to her butt crack? They're the straps of her thong bottom. You can see a tiny little brown thing right at the top of her butt crack that I believe connects her waist thong straps with the one running between her butt cheeks, unseen as it is entirely hidden by them. But it's there. So she's not naked. I'd watch a woman dressed like that with about equal pleasure to watching a woman dance stark naked.

Hence, the "Naked Women Dancing Channel." Of course, the Naked Women Dancing Channel would have to be a premium channel. But it would be just about as good to have a Half Naked Women Dancing channel where the women dance about in thong bikinis, and it wouldn't have to be a premium channel. This would probably make more sense than a Naked Women Dancing, as wives and such would find the Half Naked Women Dancing channel less alarming than a Naked Women Dancing Channel. But hey, if the project would only be feasible as a premium channel, I would totally pay that fee.

It would take no time or effort to catch up on what was happening on the Half Naked Women Dancing Channel. a half naked woman would be dancing, as is always the case on this channel, except for commercials.

Here's Playmate Donna Edmonson from a Playmate Music Video. Nothing but stuff like this on the Naked Woman Dancing Channel, 24/7. She doesn't do anything clearly describable as dancing in her music video, but. but. what was I saying?

Some people might argue that premium sex channels like Spice are the same thing, but they aren't really. Hardcore sex scenes don't really make good background. either you are very interested in them or you're not interested in them at all. Half naked women dancing on the other hand, would be something rewarding to look at between sites. And when you weren't looking at the channel, you could enjoy the music in the background. And if the music sucked (there would be all different kinds of course, like any video music channel) well, that's what the "mute" button on the remote is for.

It's really hard to watch stuff like what's portrayed on this Sex and Submission ad in the background. Either you're very very very interested in it, or you're not interested at all.

This idea seems so simple, so foolproof, so compelling, that I can't see how it would fail. It would totally be my default channel, from which I would venture only to watch those rare specific programs I like (The Daily Show, Mythbusters, NCIS and a couple of others).

So why doesn't this channel ALREADY exist? I think I have a clue. You see, there is a series of videos that are close to what I am describing, and that's the Playboy Playmate Music Videos. They were available for rental in many video stores back in the 80s. They consisted entirely of naked and half-naked Playmates dancing to pop and jazz ballads. Songs like "Blacklight Trap" and "The Way You Do The Things You Do" and "Uptown Girl" and whatever that jazz piece that Pat Metheny did that got a lot of play on the video channels in those days.

Scene from a Playboy Fantasies video. The woman is fantasizing about wearing her ankles as earrings, and there's some very tasty jazz going in the background. The thin blue line is an artifact that's explained further down in the text.

There was also a Playboy series called "Fantasies" that was essentially sexual vignettes set to music, mostly some very tasty jazz instrumentals. "Fantasies" was a little easier to watch because the women in it were not required to dance. (It is obvious from watching the music videos that many Playmates have two left feet, perhaps even three left feet, and the video producers were reduced to having the Playmate writhe about languidly in bed, or wave translucent scarves about languidly as they writhed. It's pretty sad stuff.)

A Playmate sits on a bed and waves one arm languidly during her Playmate Music Video, unable to dance and hence sitting with her back to us, unwilling to show her face. Nice butt anyway.

I obtained a bunch of them back in the 80s and regularly watch them when there's nothing to watch on TV and I don't feel like being bothered by plots and so forth. Which is, pretty durned regularly.

Unfortunately, these tapes are from the 1980s, and they're starting to age. Getting kinda grainy, the music gets a little draggy in places -- just check out the pathetic vidcaps I was able to pull from them (see reference to thin blue line in the caption of the woman fantasizing about wearing her ankles as earrings-- and see blurry vidcap immediately above). So I recently decided to go online and buy copies of the videos and upgrade, figuring that more might have been made in the meantime so I could expand my library of them, and I could probably pick up the ones I already had cheap on Half. com.

I had to work Photoshop like a MULE to get an image looking this good from my tapes, and it's still kinda grainy and blurry. They're old and rare and unfindable. This is Playmate Shannon Long lolling on a beach in lieu of dancing in her Playmate Music Video. I'm down with that, though I'd prefer good dancing.

How wrong I was. I could not find ANY Playmate Music Videos or Fantasies online. I did not find them on Half. com. I did not find them on Ebay. I did not find them on Amazon. com. I did not find them on Playboy. com. I could not Google a source for them.

My only hope, it seems, is to find them at some video rental place.

But the interesting question is, why are they unavailable online? When obtaining the most obscure old movie online -- such as "Vicious Circles" which I did quite recently -- is a trivial matter and the cost is quite low, why are Playmate Music Videos and Playboy Fantasies fricking unpossible to obtain?

Here the MST3K gang watch one of the few bondage-related scenes on "Outlaw of Gor" in which a chained slavegirl is auctioned -- while still clothed. The movie deserved all the snarking it got, though the MST3K gang, normally quite sophisticated, seemed entirely unaware of the source materials' bondage origins. That would have made for some nice snarking. I've no idea of the copyright status on this one.

The only similar situation I know of is the problem the folks over at MST3K have been having with the videos. It seems there are copyright issues with some of the movies they snarked so well. Especially in the early years, when they had no idea how long-lasting and worthwhile their videos could be economically, they did not get the rights in perputuity they needed to sell the tapes for decades, as they do nowadays. So now a lot of MST3K movies can't be sold, even though they are still funny as hell. There is no justice!

Copyright issues, hmm. And what is the principal ingredient of Playboy Music Videos, right after naked dancing women? Music. Popular music. Copyrighted music. Copyrights "protected" by one of the scummiest, most evil, rotten, disgusting bunch of slimeballs on the planet -- no, I'm not talking about the Bush Administration, I'm talking about the Recording Industry Association of America!

Here's another Playboy Fantasy. It involves bathing, a popular topic for Playboy Fantasies. The folks at Playboy must figure bathing is an exotic act to their viewers. Talk about "unwashed masses!"

Oh! Bathing with a blonde who looks like THAT! OK, that is a little on the exotic side.

That could be the problem right there. Even a corporate entity with the clout of Playboy would not care to go up against those guys. So they probably deep-sixed all their music videos in favor of their many other naked woman-flavored products.

I mean, there's no other reason, really, because even if your product consists of a box full of old videos that only sell at a rate of two or three a week, it costs practically nothing to market them on the Web. Playboy undoubtedly already has an in-house fulfillment department handling all their OTHER video products, so even at minimal sales, the music videos would constitute free money, in essence.

I 'd watch a woman dressed like this do some hot dancing. You would too, admit it.

Nope, if Playboy COULD legally sell their music videos, they WOULD sell them, or if not Playboy, SOMEBODY would. There's too much obscure crap for sale on the Web to believe that a product like that would be ignored.

So if Playboy isn't selling their music videos -- and neither is anybody else, at least online where you imagine they'd be sold -- then the same difficulties might apply to any collection of naked woman dancing videos. Unless the women are dancing in total silence, or unless the company totally owns the rights to the music they dance to, the RIAA, the terrorists of copyright law, is going to come after their asses big time.

I would watch Luciana Salazar, dressed as she is in this photo, dance on the Half Naked Dancing Channel. Then again, who wouldn't?

I do have a naked dancing video in which I'm sure the company owns the rights to the music. It's a video called Love Is A Dancer and it, like the Playboy music videos, is from the 1980s. The early 80s maybe even the late 70s, to judge from the hair (both upstairs and downstairs).

Love Is A Dancer was apparently created when some guy had the bright idea to hire the strippers in his area (or club, the video has the low-budget look of something that might initially have been created to promote a particular strip club, however I doubt it because no logos or artwork promoting the club are in evidence) to dance naked and make a video of it.

ALSO FROM PAT POWERS

Woman Dancing Striptease

“Woman Dancing Striptease” - Vector collection women dancing striptease. Used for created flyer, banner, poster.

These days people’s silhouettes are very popular vector illustrations among stock sites and digital artists. Because it is easy to draw them and use, but they can make you graphics look much more attractive & cool-looking.

It is very elementary to edit any vector file: change color, remove elements, resize, rotate, join with other shapes.

Also you can be interested in similar vector pack - Silhouette Striptease Dancers .

VectorLady. com was created to share with everyone trendy vector files (unique & quality illustrations). I'm drawing and sharing the most popular graphics freebies: backgrounds, icons, floral ornaments, grunge elements, heraldry, people silhouettes, printable template and others. Have fun!

Size: 0,8 mb

License: You are free to use it for personal or commercial purposes. If you would like to share this set on your site you have to put direct link to this page (use post title as text for link) and to vectorlady. com. Also you are not allowed to sell it on stock sites as your own.

I’m sharing Vectors for free. Without any ask for money from you. I’m getting some financial reward from my sponsors, so please don’t ignore ad links if you like my vectors.